I went from living the typical “teenager” life to pursuing a self-development journey, but why? What made me choose a life full of delayed gratification, loneliness, and constant mistakes over an easy, “fun” life? This daunting question had been on my mind for quite some time, but anytime I tried to answer it, my head went blank.
After a deep talk with one of my friends, I decided to dedicate the time in between my workout sets to answer this question. I went from constantly listening to music in the gym, to not working out with anything in my ears except my inner voice. During these moments of silence, I began to question my life’s decisions, emotions, childhood, and deepest desires in between my workout sets. For example, why do I go to college, what is it about soccer that I love so much, why am I drawn to certain types of people? I wasn’t looking for the average answer, but the deeper, more profound one. All of these questions and their answers felt like interconnected puzzle pieces or like a web that, together, shaped my identity–I just needed to fill in the gaps. My goal was to weave pieces of my life together as if they were a spider web, and every web requires a solid foundation which the silk is affixed to. My bedrock is what motivates me to get up every morning and choose the difficult, rewarding life.
Through this introspection, I discovered that my belief system stems from deep childhood memories– some good, but mostly bad. It would be dishonest of me to romanticize this period of soul-searching, as my mental health was all over the place amid this journey. After conquering each deep question, I gradually improved my understanding of my purpose. After three extended, mentally, and physically exhausting workouts by myself, I was able to find the answer to the one question whose answer kept escaping me. How do I know I found it? Well, I broke the gym machine five minutes later and, as the saying goes: “a man with purpose is stronger.” There were two extremely frequent themes that inform the decisions I have made in my life thus far: competitiveness and the fear of living an unfulfilled life.
My mother shared a story with me a couple of years ago that I will never forget: “Josh, when you were a little kid playing soccer, we didn’t buy you a gift if you won a soccer game. We bought you a gift if you lost and didn’t cry.” Since before I can remember, I hated losing. Every game had a winner and a loser. My winner-mentality never wavered, and I was always going to do anything to win, even if it was something as simple as a race to the kitchen.
To this day, I believe I was born with the insatiable desire to win. Many of the life choices I make today are correlated to this fundamental piece of me. For example, I began working out because my brother started and I did not want him to be stronger than me. Yes, that was the only reason I started. I wish the best for all my peers, but I want to outwork and defeat them. Not for the sake of beating them, but for the sake of continuously challenging the ultimate warrior, myself. I use others’ competition to fuel my inner competition. Me vs me. It’s a journey that has changed my life for the better and made me Joshua Nikolaevsky.
I’ve always hated society’s average life, but what do I mean by average: “the average American (52.4%) is “obese” or “severely” obese, according to the CDC. The average American spends 93% of their life indoors. The average American has only visited 3 nations, (source), 27% of Americans have never left the country (Source), and 56% of Americans can’t cover a $1,000 emergency expense (Source). The New York Times reported (in pre-pandemic times) that the average American watches 5 hours and 4 minutes of television per day. That’s 35.47 hours of TV per week or more than 1,844 hours per year” (Heil). Personally, this is my worst nightmare. I am willing to do whatever it takes to live a different life than the one presented above. These thoughts are reflected in my actions.
The reasons I pursued my own business, exercise 6x a week, walk in nature, and cut out my toxic environment are due to my fear of living an unfulfilled life. The individuals I choose to spend my time with all have a common trait, wanting more in life. After beating 1 in 4 trillion odds to experience this cool encounter called life, some are complacent with mundanity. I completely understand why, but I’m not letting those odds go to waste. I want to create an impact and inspire others along the way. I want people to believe that anything is possible. That we are more than what we believe we are capable of. This relentless pursuit of a fulfilling life is the second of the two themes that complete the reason I wake up every morning with a mission. Fear and competition can create problems within someone’s life, but if transformed into tools, can create a purpose and will to continue to fight every day and beat expectations.
A purpose is important in life. It brings light when there is darkness. Hope, when all you see are pitfalls, longing for what you desire but don’t possess . They make us the person we are, and in my case, my “why” makes me 1% better. The philosophy I follow, Kaizen, is the core foundation of my life. That foundation comes from one trait born within me and another that was developed through my childhood. So, the next time you ask who Joshua Nikolaevsky is, I’ll say he’s a competitive man, will do anything in his power to not live an average life, and seeks to inspire others in hopes of creating a better world than the one he was born into.
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